A New Start
by changeofscene
Summary: Lauren's been released from the "clinic" after 3 months and is heading back to Walford. Will Joey be waiting for her?
1. 1 - First Steps

**A/N: i know i have my other story to update, but after last nights episode i wanted to write this! Joey broke my heart! What the hell is he playing at?! :'( :'( silly boy! This is kind of following that story line, from Lauren's release :-)**

**Pleaaaaase, review and favourite and make me smile ;D Let me know if you want me to carry on, if this is any good!**

**Love yaaaaaaaa xxxxx**

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"So that's it?" I asked, my eyes lighting up, "I… I can go?" I lifted my eyes up to look at my doctor, standing in hope.

"That's it Lauren, you're out of here. I'm so proud of you," He told me, hugging me gently as I squealed, not actually believing that I was free to go. I'd spent 3 months in _rehab_ and I'd done it, I'd spent that long sober and that long conscious. It was safe to say I was proud of myself, proud that I'd actually achieved something in my life and I so wanted my Mum and Dad to be proud themselves. My doctor, Jamie had had a big impact on my life since being admitted to the unit and it was true to say I wouldn't of done it without him, I couldn't. But today I was being discharged, exactly 3 months, a week and 6 days since I'd left Walford, I was heading back.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I beamed up at Jamie, clapping my hands excitedly. "I can't actually believe it,"

"Well you need to, home time I guess?" He told me, walking with me towards the reception where my parents would be waiting, Dad having come up to visit Mum and Oscar with Abi, knowing I was being released. They all knew this would be the true test, whether I could cope without alcohol beyond the hospital walls but I was determined to stay clean, I was focused. Whilst I'd been in hospital I couldn't deny that I hadn't thought of him. Him being Joey, I mean it was virtually impossible not to. To begin with, Lucy and him rang me most days but due to me being in the acute ward, I was rarely allowed phone calls so didn't speak to them. I wasn't even sure whether I'd of answered anyway. I knew I needed to speak to him, to clear the air and sort all of our unfinished shit out, but I was terrified. I knew everything Lucy told me about them being together was a lie, Abi had told me Joey insisted that I knew that when she visited, which filled me with some hope or calm. But going back and seeing him, I didn't know what to expect; I didn't even know if he was still there.

I sighed deeply as Jamie and I went down in the lift, closer to my freedom. "Is it weird that I think I'm going to miss it here?"

"No, completely natural, you won't miss it as such, you'll just take a while to adapt," He reassured me as the lift came to a standstill. "You ready for this?"

"More than anything," I told him with a smile, reaching and squeezing his hand softly. Jamie had become more of a friend than a doctor, counsellor prison guard; whatever you wanted to call him. The doors opened and I glanced up to see my immediate family gathered in reception. I locked eyes with my Mum and tears sprung as I practically ran towards her and wrapped my arms around her tightly. I felt her beginning to cry on my shoulder and pulled away, laughing at the state we were both getting into. "Hey Mommy,"

"Hello darling," she greeted, a smile reaching both of her ears. I smiled back at her before glancing down to Abi and hugging her tightly.

"It's so good to see you Lauren," she whispered, gripping me tighter.

"Can't…breathe Abs!" I chuckled as she let go of me quickly, flashing an apologetic smile.

"Lozzy!" I heard a little voice say from behind Mum and Oscar appeared.

"Hey baby!" I picked him up and cuddled him tightly. Out of everyone, even my Mum, I'd honestly missed Oscar the most. We used to be so close, I'd look after him most of the time when Mum was ill, giving her the much needed rest. "Wow haven't you gotten big!" He also hadn't been allowed to visit, hospital policy or something, him only being 7.

"Missed you" he whispered, as his fingers tangled in my hair whilst he balanced on my hip.

"Missed you too munchkin," I told him, kissing his forehead gently.

"Ew," he whined, causing my Mum and me to chuckle at him.

"Oscar, let your big sister give you a kiss," I heard a deep voice from behind me, causing me to spin around and my face to light up even more.

"Daddy," I whispered, seeing tears in his eyes. I placed Oscar down on the floor and ruffled his hair before Dad reached me and picked me up and spun me around, his arms locking around my waist. I buried my head in his shoulder and hid my sobs, as I felt a few tears of his drift and land on my shoulder.

"Hey baby-girl," he whispered, kissing my forehead much like I'd done with Oscar. "Fancy seeing you here," I chuckled as we pulled away and he wiped his eyes quickly.

"Haven't seen you cry for a very long time," I told him, giggling to myself.

"Cried a lot these past few months, don't know what's been happening to me, need to keep my reputation up," he teased, poking my side. His words reminded me of something Joey once said to me, about keeping his 'bad boy' reputation up after admitting he loved me for the first time. My face must have dropped slightly as I reminisced, causing my Dad to furrow his brow. "You okay?"

I nodded and smiled, shaking my head of any Joey related thoughts at the moment. "Just feels weird to be able to go home," I smiled as he pulled me in for another hug, "Good weird," I mumbled against his chest.

"Well looks like you are all ready to go Lauren," I turned around to see Jamie returning with some paperwork for me to sign, discharging myself. I was never held against my own will, I was there because the moment I saw my Dad break down, the night Mum planned to leave, I knew how badly I was effecting my family and that I needed to sort it all out, not anyone else, me. By the time I was admitted, I was more determined to stay and complete my treatment than ever.

"Thank you so much," I told Jamie as I handed him back the signed documents, pulling him in for a quick hug to say goodbye. "Couldn't of done it without you,"

"Don't mention it, proud of you Lo," he whispered as we pulled apart. I tensed as he called me Lo, another of Joey's traits not to be missed. Jamie had only begun calling it me over the past couple of weeks, as I got better we got closer friends. It didn't bother me as such, it just forced me to remember Joe. "Now go on, get out of my sight Branning,"

"Pfft, anyone would think you were kicking me out," I joked back as my parents began to pick up my bags and transport them to the car.

"Damn right I am," he laughed back, causing me to chuckle. "Bye Lauren,"

"Cya, Jay" I smiled at him and turned to leave following my sister.

"Laur?" He called at me, causing me to turn back around.

"Mhm?"

"Don't be a stranger," he waved his mobile at me knowingly, smiling as I rolled my eyes and waved slightly before turning and leaving the place for good. As I stepped out of the clinic, I relaxed a great deal, noticing Abi slip her hand into mine as we walked to the car. I turned to glance at her and squeezed her hand gently.

"We'll be fine Abs," I whispered, smiling at her.

"I know Lo," She smiled back at me as we climbed into the car and made our way back to Walford. Apparently, Mum and Oscar had moved back around 3 weeks ago, preparing everything for me. As we neared the square I could hear my heart beating, saying I was terrified was an understatement. It wasn't just the thought of seeing people again, excusing Joey because that I was dreading, it was the whole atmosphere and the memories it held. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to be thrown straight back into the deep end, not remembering how to swim. We pulled up outside number 5, the house I'd spent the majority of my life in looked no different, just looking at it made me feel apprehensive.

"You ready baby girl?" I heard my Dad whisper from the front of the car, snapping me from my thoughts. I looked up to meet his eyes in the mirror and realised Abi, Oscar and Mum had already gotten out of the car. I nodded and forced a brave smile before climbing out of the car myself and making my way up the stairs to our porch, not wanting to look around, unsure of what or rather who I'd see. My family made their way into the house first, as I took a glance behind me overlooking the square. I exhaled deeply as it looked no different, nothing but familiarity. I began to turn away when I locked eyes with an acquainted face. I did nothing but smile, only small, but I managed it… before turning and shutting the door behind me, safe in the confines of my home.

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**First thoughts? Try and write more tonight, update tomorrow maybe? Although i'm due to update Holiday tomorrow!xxxx**


	2. 2 - Bitch is Back

**A/N: Hellloo.. i know it's late, but i promised a chapter today, and technically we have 4 minutes left of today ;-)**

**This is only short, and i can safely say i HATED writing it, stupid Lucy. I felt you needed to see her thoughts and feelings.. eurgh. Bitch.**

**Did you guess who it was Lauren saw as she got home? Haha! Hope i surprised a few of you! **

**Thanks for the reviews so far, love you all a lotttttttttttt.**

**Please continue reviewing, really helps me to carry on writing! xxxx**

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Lucy's POV

My heart almost stopped when I saw her get out of the car, surrounded by her family. She looked… good, healthier, so much better since the last time I'd seen her. It didn't take her long for her to notice me staring and much to my surprise she smiled. I did nothing but turn and walk away, running from the truth of Lauren Branning returning to Walford. I assume from the smile, she doesn't know about Joey and I; that pretty much as soon as she left he jumped into bed with me, not looking back since. Serves her right, she pushed him away and hurt him… someone had to pick up the pieces. I huffed as I reached the café, unsure of whether I should say anything to Joey, I know for a fact she'd get back under his skin, convince him he loves her… again.

"Luce, we need you in here," Peter shouted from the door of the café, not getting a response. "Lucy? Earth to Lucy?"

I shook my head as Peter brought me out of my trance, "Sorry Pete," I mumbled, heading back into the café.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, his eyebrow raised suspiciously. Call it twin telepathy but I can never hide anything from him, ever. Either that or he's just too bloody nosey.

"Yeah I'm fine," I lied.

"Don't mess with me Luce," See. I sighed deeply and sat down on the stool behind the counter, rolling my eyes at my brother.

"She's back," I admitted, watching the confusion on his face.

"Who's ba- Ohhh, Lauren? Lauren's back?!" He asked, looking a lot happier than I did when I realised. I rolled my eyes once more and nodded slowly. "When?"

"About 20 minutes ago, saw her walk into number 5,"

"I should go see her," He sighed deeply and my head shot up to him.

"Why? Oh for god sake Peter, she's toxic. She's a mess, why would anyone associate with her?" I snapped, quickly.

"You did for years Luce, she was you **best friend** does that mean nothing?" He enquired, glaring at me.

"Best friend? Could of fooled me when she stole my boyfriend, who is in fact her cousin, she's disgusting," I bit back harshly.

"Oh I get it, this is all to do with Joey right? Lucy you're being pathetic, she did nothing wrong, you cant help who you fall in love with. You know Joey still loves her, he always will-"

"No, Joey and me are happy, we don't need her involved." I practically shouted back, trying not to raise my voice too loudly.

"You're not going to even tell him she's here are you?" He laughed, shaking his head at me, fuelling my anger.

"He doesn't need to know, he has me now," I stated confidently… as confidently as I could, I knew in reality he'd go back to her in a click of her fingers. Controlling bitch.

"You really think you're enough?" His eyes widened and he raised his eyebrow in question, but really I didn't have an answer. She didn't deserve him, she drank his love into oblivion, she didn't have the right to love him anymore.

"We're fine without her," I mumbled, uncertain of myself, Peter clearly noticing.

"Grow up yeah? Have you considered what Joey's opinion in this will be? Or does he not get a say? You don't care about anyone else do you, your only concern is yourself. You know as soon as Joey sees Lauren you'll be dropped in a second." He explained, stabbing me with his words. I knew myself, what he was saying was true, but I loved Joey and I know he'd love me too, soon.

"Don't let your feelings for Lauren cloud your judgment Peter. We both know you're only concerned because you love her." I laughed harshly, turning his words back on him.

"No, Luce," He stepped closer, looking directly at me. "That's the main difference between me and you, I care about her. I actually do, forget my feelings, they're irrelevant. I'm putting someone else first,"

I huffed and laughed slightly at his revelation, "We aren't that different, I know you."

"You really don't," he snarled back, standing up and making his way to the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" I shouted, angry at how he was just leaving me to cover his shift.

"Where do you think?" he laughed slightly, mockingly.

"You can't just leave… your shift!" I called, following him to the door.

"I quit," he hissed back, taking me completely off guard. I watched in shock as he made his way over to number 5, straight back to _her_. She was welcome to him; at least it would mean she'd keep away from Joey. Ha, likely.

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**Hope you enjoyed :) xxx R&R **


	3. 3 - Old Flame

**Back again, rather late this time... so i do apologise if there are typos or errors as i am rather tired! **

**Filler chapter, but rather important and sweet if i do say so myself... Enjoy xxx**

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"Mum, I'm fine, stop fussing! Anyone would think I'd just come out of rehab," I chuckled to myself but receiving an unappreciative glare from my mother dearest. "Chill Mum, it was a joke?"

"I know darling, I just want you to feel at home," She sighed, smiling at me sympathetically.

"What would make me feel at home is for you to go to work, Abi to go to college and Dad to saunter back to whatever Dad does, trust me… I'm fine. You don't have to babysit me anymore Mum," I reached over and squeezed her hand. "I'm never going back there, believe me," I chuckled, shivering at the very thought. I was in such a better place now, my mind set completely different all together, there was no way on this Earth I would consider going back to that dark place. I could see Mum's worry behind her eyes as she glanced at me briefly trying to read my thoughts. "Mum? Go, honestly,"

"See you later sweetie," she said hugging me briefly, "Call me if you need me yeah?" I rolled my eyes and nodding as we pulled apart, reassuring her slightly. She picked up her bag and headed out of the room, "And Lau," I looked up, willing her to go on, "I'm so glad you're home," She whispered, her hand falling over her heart.

"Me too Mum," I whispered back, a smile forming so easily on my face, because I was. I was the happiest I'd been in a while, I had people that genuinely cared about me, that I trusted and depended on without a doubt and most importantly, I was healthy…ish. Slight liver failure, but eh who's counting?

"Lo?" I heard calling from upstairs, seems I was popular today. I groaned and rolled my eyes, although happy to feel included in whatever my joyous sister required.

"Yeah?" I called back as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"You don't mind me popping out do you? It's just, I promised I'd let Jay know about this meal we're having tonight and then I need to get to college…it will only-" she began to ramble.

"Abi, calm down yeah? I don't **need** a baby sitter, course you can go out, who am I? Your mother?" I teased, chuckling slightly.

"Sorry, just didn't want you to think I was abandoning you," She admitted, shrugging slightly.

"You never abandon me Abs," I smiled back, calming her. "And hold up a second, what dinner?"

"Shit." She mumbled, averting her eyes from my gaze. "Kinda wasn't meant to tell you.. Mum's planned a surprise…"

"Abigail…" I warned her, "You know, as well as our lovely mother does, that I _hate_ surprises. So tell me now."

She sighed and looked up at me, I was always able to get one over on her. "Mum's organised a family dinner, here tonight… I'm under the impression no one else coming knows you're back so I guess it's a surprise for a lot of people…"

"When you say family?" I asked cautiously, making sure I wasn't directly talking about Joey.

"The lot of them I guess," she shrugged, her gaze apologetic.

"Wonderful," I stated, rolling my eyes.

"Come on Lo, humour her," She told me, trying to talk me round.

"Eurgh, fine… but I'm only doing this because it's my first day back and although you know I love the drama, I can't be dealing with it this quickly." I joked with her.

"Thank you, now I really must go… are you sure you're-"She began.

"I'm fine, please stop worrying, you're as bad as our mother I'll have you know," I nudged her as she put her coat on, ready to leave.

"I'm so glad you're back," She shook her head as she started laughing, "**You**, I mean… the proper Lauren,"

"I'm glad she's back too," I smiled and squeezed her hand gently as she made her way out of the house. As the door shut, it took me a while to realise I was alone again, in this house… the house that held so many memories, most I'd rather not be reminded of. This time 4 months ago, given this opportunity, I'd be wasted. Completely and utterly gone. It was ridiculous to think how much had changed and although I wouldn't admit this to anyone, I was remarkably proud of myself. Who'd of thought stupid, drunken Lauren would have come clean eh? I was deep in thought, still leaning against the front door as I felt it knock slightly, startling me somewhat. I hadn't really seen anyone yet, other than the awkward but civil glance with Lucy as I arrived and honestly I wasn't sure who I was ready to see. But here I was, there time had come to finally become face to face with another Walford regular. I breathed deeply and applied a fake but comfortable smile on my face as I opened the door, my eyes meeting the boy stood in front of me.

"Lauren?" he asked, his eyes washing over me, as they always did.

"Peter, hey" I mumbled, surprisingly nervous at his arrival. "Come in,"

"Wow, you really are back," He commented, chuckling slightly. He seemed just as nervous as I did, probably worried of my 'mental state' or some stupid shit I should probably care about.

"Close your mouth Pete," I teased, walking through to the living room, giggling slightly.

"Shut up you," he retorted, our playfulness coming back, easing the conversation a great deal.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, smiling sweetly as we sat down on opposite ends of the sofa. I was pretty sure his beloved sister had told him of my return, which no doubt means she's probably told him how happy she is that I am back. Not.

"Well Luce said she saw you…" he began, causing me to roll my eyes secretly, "Wanted to see how you were," He smiled honestly.

"Thought she might," I paused before smiling, "I'm good, yeah really good. It's been 3 or so months but I'm sober ain't I, better start talking good, cause I'll remember this conversation in the morning," I teased, winking at him, catching him off guard.

"That's good," He replied, a genuine smile appearing on his boyish face. He had nothing on Joey, that may be harsh to say but seriously, I mean yeah I loved Peter, I really did but I was never **in** love with him you know? With Joey, just the look he gave me, full of adoration made me tingle and want him there and then.

"Lo?" He asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Mm?" I replied, shaking my head rid of all thoughts concerning a Mr Branning; I wasn't ready to even consider him yet, never mind see him tonight.

"Have you seen anyone yet?" He repeated, laughing slightly at my forever faithful clumsiness. I returned the laugh raised an eyebrow at his question knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"By than I understand you mean, have I seen Joey yet? Yeah?" I asked, my expression not changing. His mouth formed a side-smile and he shrugged slightly, admitting defeat. "No I haven't, I have no interest in him at the moment. For once, I'm my main priority." _Liar. What were those thoughts just 5 minutes ago? _I did really want to ask what he'd been up to, you know out of curiosity… but knowing that being Joey, he was not likely to keep it in his pants for longer than a week after my departure, I mean he didn't really give a shit did he? However many times he tried to convince me he **cared** but not once being there when I needed him, _her_ always coming fucking first.

"Good," he replied simply, removing his eyes from mine, almost as if he was avoiding my look. My heart jittering, knowing he was hiding something from me but unusually I was too scared to ask. "Look I'm going to have to get back… I kinda need to sweet talk my sister around to giving me my job back…"

"She fired you?" I asked shocked at his revelation.

"I erm, quit," he mumbled, averting his eyes from my gaze once again.

"Why?"

"We kind of had an argument, it's a long story…" he muttered in reply, looking down at his hands.

"About?" I was determined to uncover some of the things he was hiding from me.

"You actually…" he looked up at me and shrugged.

"You idiot, go and get your job back," I laughed and shook my head standing up with him. He laughed with me as we walked back into the hallway. Acting on an instinct I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head into his chest. "It's good to see you Pete," I mumbled into him.

"You too Lo, I'm so glad you're home," I felt him say as he rested his chin on my head.

"People need to stop saying that," I chuckled as we pulled away.

"Face it Lauren, you were actually missed, believe it or not," he teased, poking my side playfully.

"Oi you, don't get cheeky with me. Respect your elders yeah?" I have never stopped teasing him since we realised all those years ago I am older than him by a day.

"Shut up Branning," he laughed at me, shaking his head. "Now to go and find my lovely sister,"

"She's not that bad…" I attempted to defend her, it feeling so so very wrong. Peter lifted his eyes to meet mine and raised his eyebrow. "I dunno, maybe we'll sort things out?" I shrugged, Peter not replying, telling me he is definitely hiding something from me. "Anyway, I'll see you around yeah? Thanks for visiting, means a lot,"

"I'll call you or something," he told me, stepping into our porch. "See you Lolo," he called the nickname he gave me back when were 13, causing me to smile a lot, it really pays to know your best friend is there for you. I'd always been that little bit closer to Peter than I was to Lucy, much to her dismay, but it was true; I got on so much better with him. I shut the door and made my way leisurely back into the front room before sinking down and watching the shitty daytime TV, mentally preparing myself for the possible encounter of Joey Branning this evening.

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**Hope you enjoyed!**

**What will happen at dinner? Will Joey come?**

**Why didnt Peter tell Lauren and Lucy and Joey? Will she find out?**

**It's all such a mystery ;-)**

**Reviews are so very appreciated and i love to read them all!**

**Thank you to those that have reviewed, it encourages me so much and i'm sorry if i dont reply.**

**Thank you again, nighty nightxxxx**


	4. 4 - Inside

**Only a short on today... filler chapter,but vitally important:)**

**But Enjoy"**

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Joey's POV

"Joey?!" I heard my name being called from behind as I made my way through the market to number 23 to get ready for the dinner at Auntie Tanya's tonight that had been sprung upon me about 20 minutes ago. I hadn't seen much of that side of my family since Lauren had gone so it was obvious something was up with the spontaneous lunch invite. To say I was nervous was an understatement, continuous thoughts of Lauren ran through my mind, knowing they were going to tell me something bad about her, maybe she'd had a relapse? I winced at the thought of her suffering as an immense pain of guilt shot through me knowing I near enough caused her severe illness. I missed her, is that not obvious? I really, really missed her. Okay so I was sleeping with her best friend but that was all it was, '_sleeping with'_ it was nothing compared to what Lauren and I had. I tried my best not to think about her as much as I'd of liked because I couldn't kid myself anymore. I felt awful, I know that when she finds out about Lucy she will be hurt, again… by me. All I seemed to do is hurt her, it was like a disease, much like loving the poor, irresistible girl and I know if she ever returns, I will have some serious apologising to do. I shook my head rid of the thoughts concerning a certain brunette as I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"Joey?" she whispered, trying to gain my attention once again.

"Mm?" I replied, completely uninterested in whatever the blonde had to say to me. Lucy was just a filler, a make-do piece until my girl came back. How heartless am I?

"Can we do something tonight? My treat… I miss you," Whine, whine, whine; all she ever seemed to do.

"I have this family dinner at Max's, sorry Luce," I told her, as apologetically as I could possibly manage to. Her face dropped slightly and her eyes seemed to grow wider after a few seconds, almost as if my words had finally sunk in.

"Well…" she began. I noticed she was fidgeting a lot, you know, playing with her hands and shuffling her feet. "How about I come?"

"Really Luce?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. "Do you think that's a good idea? Parading this around their house?" I motioned between us. We were yet to establish what exactly we were, me not wanting a relationship with her but her not wanting a hook-up situation; we were stuck.

"Do you not want me to come?" She whined…again, looking into my eyes making me cringe slightly.

"No, its not that, just gotta think… you know," I admitted, shrugging and looking anywhere but at her.

"About Lauren? Gosh Joey, she's gone! Get over it yeah?" Her voice rose considerably as she spoke, picking at a suspicious bone in my body. She seemed to be building in anger, unknown to me as why she was. I didn't know why she was so keen on coming, she'd never been interested in anything to do with Lauren since she'd gone away but I knew she wasn't happy with my weekly updates from Max and Tanya. But as to why she is insistent on coming tonight, who knows?

"Alright Luce, chill out yeah? Fine you can come, but it **must** be civil, no comments towards my Aunt and Uncle." I warned her as she leaned in to peck my cheek, me just about baring it before wiping the kiss away and running my hand over my face nonchalantly.

"I'll be on my best behaviour Joseph," she winked at me before retreating back to the café, her hips swaying. She never said my name right, that being the way Lauren pronounced it. So here I was, stuck in an impossible position. I had planned to go to dinner at my ex-girlfriends parents' house…and I was taken my current…whatever she is... Did I have a death wish?

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**Sorry it's so short but enjoy and rate and all the lovely things you do! the reviews are brilliant and i love ready every one... thank you for the support! Back tomorrow hopefully... night night xxx**


	5. 5 - Nearly There

**Here it is! Bless Lauren ;-) Some of you wanted the strong fiesty Lauren, and believe me she is on her way ;) But this needed to show her vulnerable side, i have so many plans for this story... cannot wait for you to see them!**

**ANYWAY... enough of me babbling ;) Enjoy xxxxxx**

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Lauren's POV

I was looking forward to this like a hole in the head… If it wasn't the thought of Joey being in close proximity once again, it was the thought of everyone faffing around me following my recovery. I'd only been back a day so most people were completely oblivious to the fact I'd returned. I assumed Joey knew, I mean word gets around the square pretty quickly but I was surprised that no one else seemed to have realised, other than Peter.

I was currently sat in my room on my bed, completing my make-up. There was something about wanting to look my very best and not just for Joey… I wanted people to notice a difference in not just my behaviour, but the way I looked. When I first got to the clinic, I was significantly underweight and as time went on I learnt how to eat again, without needing to throw it up again and even Jamie noticed a change in my appearance. I'd put on 2 and a half stone since I'd last been in Walford. To some that sounds horrific, but even now I was just on the boundaries for healthy weight and Jamie insisted I was still monitored on a monthly basis after my return.

"Lauren?" I heard my sister whisper from behind me, clearly signifying people had begun to arrive downstairs. I turned around to look at her and nodded gently.

"Who's here Abs?" I asked, somewhat nervously.

"Uncle Jack, Bi and the kids, I think Whitney's just arrived and Carol is on her way," She told me, smiling sympathetically.

"Not…" I began, not being able to finish my sentence.

"Not yet Lo," she shrugged with a smile, comforting me. I reciprocated the smile and nodded at her, taking in a deep breath and breathing it out rather slowly. "You'll be fine you know, you're so strong,"

"I don't feel it," I admitted, chuckling slightly as I turned around to look back in the mirror at the Old Lauren staring back at me. I felt Abi walk up behind me and squeeze my shoulders.

"Look at you, you're ready Lauren… you're back," She looked at me through the mirror and I nodded and smiled, silently thanking her.

"I know," I told her, a bit of strength returning in my voice.

"Now come on," she began, before standing up and holding out her hand to pull me from my sitting position. "I want to show my new sister off," I chuckled and shook my head at her comment, feeling slightly more relaxed.

We both stood and I grasped her hand, allowing her to lead me towards the staircase. As we reached the top I felt my heart rate increase again, panicking me slightly.

"You okay?" Abi asked, looking concerned.

"Course I am, come on," I reassured her, smiling and squeezed her hand before dropping it. "Go on down, I'll follow yeah?" She paused and looked at me for a few seconds before smiling in reply and nodding. I watched as she made her way down the stairs into the hallway as there was a knock at the door. I listened intently for any signal as to who it was, but not being able to move from my standing position on the top step, just out of sight of the people now coming into my house.

"Hi Abs," I heard _his_ voice from just outside the door. I could swear, that moment that my heart stopped, along with every other organ in my body, immobilizing me to my stance. I grasped the banister almost instantly without thinking allowing myself to remain standing as my legs went to jelly at just the sound of his voice.

"Hey Joey," I faintly heard Abi's reply to his greeting and shoes step into the hall. I was sure I was still unable to move, my heart beating ferociously in my chest, causing my breathing to become erratic. As I heard the door shut and silence echoed around, pretty sure Abi didn't know how to approach this situation and to be honest neither did I… I was clueless; it was if I was brought back into the room, my senses becoming apparent once more. I closed my eyes for a split second and breathed deeply, exhaling a long breath I was completely aware I held in. I shook the nervousness off and stepped down the stairs, just one step at a time. I wanted to look confident and healthy and like me again, for him but mainly for me. Silence fell around us, just the noise of my wedges hitting the steps as I walked down. It honestly felt like I was walking to my death, the pain and butterflies conjoined in my chest. As I neared the bottom, I allowed myself to lift my head towards him, my eyes following a few seconds later. The sight I'd longed to see for so many months, ruined. My eyes met his for a split second before they fell to his hands, and the second entwined in his. I watched as the hold they had tightened, but I wasn't sure by who, as they both noticed I'd seen their situation. My eyes trailed back up to his face, but fell on the wrong one. They were left, attached to the site of Lucy, stood next to him, her expression unreadable. They were both here…in my house… together? Time felt like it had frozen, it felt like I'd been in this position for hours whereas in reality it could only have been a few minutes. I decided it was time for me to move again, so I carefully placed my foot on the second but last step, edging me closer to the couple before me.

In one way I wanted to scream at him, hit him and call him every name under the sun. But what would that achieve? That wasn't me anymore and I knew it. He was free to do as he wished, we were no longer together… I guess I just assumed he'd have the decency to do whatever he needed to with anyone but _her_. I dragged my eyes away from her and the uneasy expression plastered across her face and let them fall on him once again, allowing myself to take in his flawless features. He looked tense, I could tell his jaw was locked and I knew he was torn. So he fucking should be. I wasn't hurt, or even _jealous_, I was disappointed that the guy that supposed he loved me just months before, was now stood holding hands with my so-called best friend. His eyes were firmly fixed on mine, looking into me, desperately trying to uncover what I was thinking. And in that moment, stood right there in front of the boy, my cousin, I'd fallen madly in love with, my heart breaking once again, I needed a fucking drink.

But I didn't want one.

I was stronger…better and I was sure, _Joey Branning_ was **not** going to push me to drink anymore.

I exhaled deeply, easing my shoulders from their tense state effortlessly and smiled. I genuinely smiled. Okay, it was forced, so very fucking forced. But it was there. My eyes told him something completely different and I knew that as much as he did. He knew me so well, better than anyone ever did and probably ever will. He knew I was hurting.

So why the fuck was he here with her.

Holding her hand?

I felt like I'd been there for hours, just exchanging glances with him. She was irrelevant if you asked me, but then again, **he didn't.**

"Lauren..." he breathed, breaking the most uncomfortable silence that fell the moment I walked down the stairs. Our eyes remained locked and I could faintly see Lucy staring between the two of us. I felt a smile creep onto my face, a very very small one, forced and a shrug of my shoulders to accompany it, enough to convince them.

Okay, nearly there Lo…

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**Must say, i loved writing this! **

**Shall write the next installment now, and maybe it will be up tonight? It's getting juicy ;-) **

**Hope you enjoy enders tonight my loveys! And i hope someone slaps Lucy... hard.**

**Okay too much to ask?! **

**Thanks for the support with this, i'm loving writing it allllllllll at the moment! Love to read your reviews!**

**10 reviews for this chapter and i PROMISE, the next will be up tonight! ;D Muahaha. evil yeah? ;-)**

**Love yaaaaaaa**


	6. 6 - Walk Away

**As i promisedd... sorry it's late!**

**Only short, filler chapter (sorry if people are disappointed) Hopefully more tomorrow, longer more interesting chapter!**

**Oh Joey what are you doing...**

**But loving Lauren's strong side!**

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Joey's POV

I told her not to bring it, but she insisted. How insensitive is she? We'd argued for about an hour before it was time to leave for Uncle Max's but she wasn't having any of it. I still asked myself most days what I was doing with her.

"Luce, please. You can't take a bottle of wine, come on," I attempted to tell her, knowing that it was too late, she'd do what she likes even if I tried to convince her it was wrong. I grabbed my coat and followed her out of the front door, practically slamming it behind me.

"Joey calm down, there's no problem…" She tried to convince me, moving closer into my side. Okay, so I'm being defensive, I'll clear it up. She's fine for a quick fling, you know, meaningless sex… but I can't do the lovey dovey stuff with her. Is she clinically insane? But me, being the coward I am, refuses to tell her to…well… fuck off.

"You know what the problem is Lucy, stop being so selfish," I snapped at her, walking further away. We walked in silence until we reached the door of number 5, seeing Abi open the door to us.

"Hi Abs," I greeted her as we stepped inside. Without warning, Lucy reached down and grasped my hand in her own, catching me off guard but I was stuck in a situation where I didn't fancy making a scene with my erm….well no, just Lucy.

We exchanged a few words with Abi and I noticed both girls were rather tense, like they were in on a joke I was completely oblivious too. A few moments later I realised why. I was face to face with _her_ again. La-Lauren was back? As she made her way down the stairs I seriously couldn't tear my eyes away from her, she looked incredible. My heart actually fluttered at the sight of her, which did not go unnoticed by Lucy as I felt her tighten her grip on my hands. Bringing my eyes back up to Lauren I noticed her glance at our entwined hands, making my heart ache ever so slightly. What the hell was I playing at? I felt nothing in the majority of my limbs, making it impossible for me to let go of Lucy and move away. For what seemed like forever our eyes were locked, both trying to work out exactly what the other was thinking.

The news of her departure months ago killed me, it tore me to pieces and I wasn't sure how I'd get through it, which kind of led me to Lucy, but we won't go into that. But now, watching her walk down those stairs, her hair floating, curly the way she knew I loved it… her make-up, smoky but natural and her clothes…wow. She was wearing a purple dress, floating just above her knees; fitting tightly around her chest…she was driving me insane. She looked like the Lauren. I knew, the Lauren I fell head over heels in love with and as I rolled my eyes over her body I'm sure she noticed.

"Lauren…" I mumbled, breaking the silence surrounding the room. I wasn't even sure what to say, how was I meant to react like this? As I came to my senses I dropped Lucy's hand, almost hoping Lauren hadn't seen. To my surprise, she didn't shout, or cry… she didn't say anything. She stood and shrugged, forcing a small smile on her lips. Her silence was killing me. For a moment I silenced again, not knowing what else to say. "You're back?"

I couldn't think of anything else to say, honestly…

"Guess she didn't mention it then?" she asked, implying Lucy with her head. I turned slightly to look at Luce, her face reddening at Lauren's statement. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Lo. "No,"

Lauren's POV

My confidence seemed to return all of a sudden, knowing Lucy had hidden my return from Joey had amused me slightly. Just as he looked like he was going to say something else, the door to the living room opened, presenting my Dad.

"Lauren? What's this?" he asked, his eyes glaring at Joey, moving between Lucy and me.

"Nothing Dad," I told him, my eyes still resting on Joey, his on mine. I wanted to show him he wasn't hurting me anymore and he couldn't, he didn't have that effect on me. _He did._ "I need to go and say hello to everyone," I tore my eyes away from Joey and headed into the living room, Abi following.

"We'll talk later though Lo... Yeah?" Joey called after me before I entered the living room. I closed my eyes momentarily absorbing his words, doing my best to stay strong. I turned to look at him and without saying anything, I smiled briefly then turning around and walking away. Something I maybe should have done a long time ago.

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**R&R? thanks for the lovely reviews for the last chapter, love them all! **

**xxxxx**


	7. 7 - Daddy's Girl

**Sorry i didnt update yesterday, here's the next installment. Enjoy :**)

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Lauren's POV

The strength and effort it took for me to turn away from him, _my_ Joey, was overwhelming but I knew I needed to keep it cool. I wanted to look strong, I wanted to show everyone that I am strong and it's different now. I took a deep breath and paused at the door to the living room for a second out of sight of the others in the hall, hearing my dad beginning to talk to Joey.

"What the hell are you two playing at? Are you trying to upset her? Get a reaction?" he snapped at him, my eyes closing as I heard. I didn't want to make a fuss, but Dad was asking all the questions I secretly wanted too so I wasn't going to interfere.

"I….I didn't… know," I heard Joey mumble unsteadily, causing my heart to ache. Maybe Lucy didn't tell him then, "I'm sorry Max,"

"It's too late Joey. You've made 3 big mistakes here, 1. Bringing 'that'" I assumed he was referring to the wine Lucy was holding, causing me to shiver slightly, "2. Bringing the wine," Dad continued, telling me that he was referring to Lucy a minute ago causing me to laugh to myself, making me love my Dad so much more. "And 3, letting Lauren go to begin with. You almost killed her Joey. Do you understand that? She was completely and utterly in love with you and I have no doubt that she still is, that kind of thing doesn't go away easily, but you hurt her…again and again. But I'm also going to thank you, losing you has made her a stronger person, she knows not to suffer fools anymore and she knows that **you were a mistake**." My eyes began to well up as not only did I love my Dad for sticking up for me, but what he was saying was true. I knew I was stronger now, and yes Joey helped me do that, but he didn't have to _hurt_ me as well.

"Max, you know that is what I wanted," I heard Joey admit, causing my heart to stop slightly.

"You aimed to hurt her?" My dad replied, I could hear the trace of anger in his voice.

"No no…no, god no… I mean, I wanted her to become a stronger person," he told my Dad, causing silence for a few minutes. "I did it so she could help herself, she was her own priority,"

"Don't you dare give me that bullshit," my Dad chuckled at him, I could imagine him squaring up to him and shaking his head, making me wince slightly but I knew he deserved it. "You keep telling yourself that Joe, you keep running that through your mind… _"I did it to help her" _fuck off. You did it to help yourself mate, you couldn't handle it and so at the first sign of trouble you ran. Again. And you will keep doing that, because you don't know what else to do. You need to man up and face your troubles because until then, you are worthless to her. You obviously weren't as serious about my daughter as we all thought you were… Lauren included. She deserves so much better."

My heart was in my mouth listening to everything my Dad was telling him, causing tears to flow freely from my eyes. I breathed deeply, attempting to control my heart rate, whilst composing myself. I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be strong and 30 seconds around Joey turned me into a mushy mess.

"I know Max," I heard his faint reply, as if what my Dad said had sunken in and he'd realised then and there how much hurt he'd caused me. I closed my eyes again, breathing deeply and wiped my face with the palm of my hand, preparing myself to enter the living room to see everyone wanting to get out of earshot of the conversation continuing in the hall…and also a little scared as to what else my Dad would do.

"La-Lauren?" I heard Whitney say as I entered.

"Hey Whit," I chuckled slightly as she practically leaped on me. "I…can't breathe,"

"Sorry," she mumbled pulling away, causing us both to laugh hard. "When did you get back?!"

"Yesterday," I told her, "Look Whit, everything that happened before, I'm sorry about yeah? I'm clean now,"

"I know Lauren, it's fine, moving on now yeah?" She replied, smiling and squeezing my hand slightly. I nodded and smiled at her before everyone else noticed my arrival and surrounded me with hugs and kisses and compliments making me want the ground to swallow me whole. Just as Uncle Jack pulled out of a hug, I felt Joey's presence in the room again causing me to tense ever so slightly, Jack obviously feeling it.

"What are they doing here?" he asked openly, drawing everyone's attention. I turned around to brave a look at the _couple_ standing in the doorway. "What the hell is **she** doing here?"

"Jack it's fine," I mumbled, still looking directly at Joey, forcing a smile. "I don't care," And with that statement I did my very best to convince everyone, that I honestly didn't care. I watched as Joey's expression changed with my words, it almost looking like they hurt him somehow. I sighed deeply and turned back to converse with my family.

"Dinner's ready guys!" I heard my Mum call from the kitchen, signifying that we all needed to take our seats. I somehow ended up opposite Lucy…Joey to her left and Abi to mine. Mum began bringing all the food in and the awkwardness was felt.

"You okay? Abi whispered as she nudged me under the table. I looked up to see Lucy practically sat on Joey's lap, glancing at me every so often.

"I'm fine Abs, honestly," I reassured her with a smile. Every part of me wanted to smack that smirk off of Lucy's smug face, she really didn't give a shit about anyone but herself. Last time I checked, Joey was using her, what makes it different this time? I wasn't here? Well I'm back, so she better get used to it.

Smug bitch.

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**Reviews are always appreciated! Strong Lauren is back next chapter!**

**xxxx**


	8. 8 - Seeing Red

**A/N: Slightly longer chapter, sorry it took so long to update, finished college last week and i've worked all weekend.**

**I'll try and write a lot more now seen as SUMMER IS HEREEEEE. **

**Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think, love all the reviews:) xxxx**

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Lauren's POV

The strength and effort it took for me to turn away from him, _my_ Joey, was overwhelming but I knew I needed to keep it cool. I wanted to look strong, I wanted to show everyone that I am strong and it's different now. I took a deep breath and paused at the door to the living room for a second out of sight of the others in the hall, hearing my dad beginning to talk to Joey.

"What the hell are you two playing at? Are you trying to upset her? Get a reaction?" he snapped at him, my eyes closing as I heard. I didn't want to make a fuss, but Dad was asking all the questions I secretly wanted too so I wasn't going to interfere.

"I….I didn't… know," I heard Joey mumble unsteadily, causing my heart to ache. Maybe Lucy didn't tell him then, "I'm sorry Max,"

"It's too late Joey. You've made 3 big mistakes here, 1. Bringing 'that'" I assumed he was referring to the wine Lucy was holding, causing me to shiver slightly, "2. Bringing the wine," Dad continued, telling me that he was referring to Lucy a minute ago causing me to laugh to myself, making me love my Dad so much more. "And 3, letting Lauren go to begin with. You almost killed her Joey. Do you understand that? She was completely and utterly in love with you and I have no doubt that she still is, that kind of thing doesn't go away easily, but you hurt her…again and again. But I'm also going to thank you, losing you has made her a stronger person, she knows not to suffer fools anymore and she knows that **you were a mistake**." My eyes began to well up as not only did I love my Dad for sticking up for me, but what he was saying was true. I knew I was stronger now, and yes Joey helped me do that, but he didn't have to _hurt_ me as well.

"Max, you know that is what I wanted," I heard Joey admit, causing my heart to stop slightly.

"You aimed to hurt her?" My dad replied, I could hear the trace of anger in his voice.

"No no…no, god no… I mean, I wanted her to become a stronger person," he told my Dad, causing silence for a few minutes. "I did it so she could help herself, she was her own priority,"

"Don't you dare give me that bullshit," my Dad chuckled at him, I could imagine him squaring up to him and shaking his head, making me wince slightly but I knew he deserved it. "You keep telling yourself that Joe, you keep running that through your mind… _"I did it to help her" _fuck off. You did it to help yourself mate, you couldn't handle it and so at the first sign of trouble you ran. Again. And you will keep doing that, because you don't know what else to do. You need to man up and face your troubles because until then, you are worthless to her. You obviously weren't as serious about my daughter as we all thought you were… Lauren included. She deserves so much better."

My heart was in my mouth listening to everything my Dad was telling him, causing tears to flow freely from my eyes. I breathed deeply, attempting to control my heart rate, whilst composing myself. I didn't want to cry, I wanted to be strong and 30 seconds around Joey turned me into a mushy mess.

"I know Max," I heard his faint reply, as if what my Dad said had sunken in and he'd realised then and there how much hurt he'd caused me. I closed my eyes again, breathing deeply and wiped my face with the palm of my hand, preparing myself to enter the living room to see everyone wanting to get out of earshot of the conversation continuing in the hall…and also a little scared as to what else my Dad would do.

"La-Lauren?" I heard Whitney say as I entered.

"Hey Whit," I chuckled slightly as she practically leaped on me. "I…can't breathe,"

"Sorry," she mumbled pulling away, causing us both to laugh hard. "When did you get back?!"

"Yesterday," I told her, "Look Whit, everything that happened before, I'm sorry about yeah? I'm clean now,"

"I know Lauren, it's fine, moving on now yeah?" She replied, smiling and squeezing my hand slightly. I nodded and smiled at her before everyone else noticed my arrival and surrounded me with hugs and kisses and compliments making me want the ground to swallow me whole. Just as Uncle Jack pulled out of a hug, I felt Joey's presence in the room again causing me to tense ever so slightly, Jack obviously feeling it.

"What are they doing here?" he asked openly, drawing everyone's attention. I turned around to brave a look at the _couple_ standing in the doorway. "What the hell is **she** doing here?"

"Jack it's fine," I mumbled, still looking directly at Joey, forcing a smile. "I don't care," And with that statement I did my very best to convince everyone, that I honestly didn't care. I watched as Joey's expression changed with my words, it almost looking like they hurt him somehow. I sighed deeply and turned back to converse with my family.

"Dinner's ready guys!" I heard my Mum call from the kitchen, signifying that we all needed to take our seats. I somehow ended up opposite Lucy…Joey to her left and Abi to mine. Mum began bringing all the food in and the awkwardness was felt.

"You okay? Abi whispered as she nudged me under the table. I looked up to see Lucy practically sat on Joey's lap, glancing at me every so often.

"I'm fine Abs, honestly," I reassured her with a smile. Every part of me wanted to smack that smirk off of Lucy's smug face, she really didn't give a shit about anyone but herself. Last time I checked, Joey was using her, what makes it different this time? I wasn't here? Well I'm back, so she better get used to it.

Smug bitch.

I'm not going to try and get Joey back, because if I'm honest, I don't need him anymore…I have myself to worry about, _for a change_. The dinner was awkward to say the least, everyone walking on egg shells around me, mostly because of Joey flaunting his new girlfriend in my face, but a minor part because Lucy was happily sat there drinking the bottle of wine she was obviously so ecstatic she brought.

"Anyone want any?" She shouted around the table, trying to be somewhat funny I guess. Everyone just shook their heads but no one replied, probably not knowing what to say.

"Lucy stop it," I heard Joey mumble under his breath, glancing at me briefly as he said it.

"I'm only being polite Joey," she whined, reaching for his hand on the table. Our eyes remained locked as he pulled his hand away, meaning she couldn't reach him.

"No, you know exactly what you're doing, stop it. Now." He stated. I noticed his fists tensing and anger laced in his voice.

'Thank you' I mouthed towards him, trying to calm him down slightly. He smiled at me apologetically and I again saw his hands relax, causing me to exhale deeply. I knew what he was like; I think he forgot that, I knew every little thing about him and how he ticks. He would never have hit Lucy, or anyone for that matter, but tensing his hands was always his way of containing his anger, waiting for **me **to calm him down.

"Do _you_ want some Lauren?" Lucy asked spitefully across the table. Everyone went silent at her question, a few gasps being heard. Joey locked his eyes with me again and I recognised the worry they held because I held the same emotion. I chuckled at her question, causing hers and a lot of other people's brows to furrow with confusion.

"Lucy, that's enough. I think you should leave," Jack stated harshly from the other end of the table.

"No, Jack it's fine," I reassured him with a smile, easing his expression slightly. "Because, yes Lucy, I will have some please." I watched as a lot of people's eyes widened and Abi grabbed my hand under the table. I turned towards her and smiled genuinely, reassuring her too. I turned to see Joey watching me intently, the worry still evident in his eyes. He shook his head slightly at me, clearly only wanting me to see his action. I nodded in reply to him, and smiled slightly. Lucy swallowed a lump in her throat and began pouring me a glass of wine.

"Lucy no," Both my Mum and Joey exclaimed at the same time, but as usual Lucy wasn't about to start following orders.

"No, she said she wanted some," Lucy retorted, enjoying the apparent weakness in my system. She finished pouring the glass and handed it me. I reached and held it in my hands, my eyes boring into the poison. I wasn't entirely sure I could do what I wanted to, I was currently holding the substance that nearly killed me…and one sip could finish me off. Everyone in the room was aware of that, but all remained silent, part of that I was sure was fear of offending me, but the others, the ones that knew me better were sure I could do this. I turned to look at my Dad, needing some encouragement. His expression was unreadable as his eyes were locked on the glass I held. I smiled at him slightly and nodded, telling him I was okay, and his eyes softened immediately.

I turned back to look at Lucy, to see a venomous smile sweeping across her face, to which I chuckled again.

"Really Luce?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow, watching her expression change. "You actually thought I'd drink _this_?" I held the wine up and looked at it, "I mean it doesn't even look appealing," Her expression altered again, to that of defeat, _finally_. I noticed Joey almost smile at my words, trying to hide it, causing me to chuckle again. "I've spent 3 months away from here, away from my family and friends," I began, moving to look at Joey slightly, "Away from the people that cared about me, okay and the people that necessarily didn't," His expression dropped and he bowed his head, realising I was talking about him, "Stuck in a hospital for drunken sluts, because that is what I was, right?" My eyebrow rose toward Lucy, words unable to leave her mouth. "Time. That time I spent away from everyone, I can't get back Lucy. Not to mention the money my parents spent on me," I turned to look at my Mum and Dad and smiled at them gratefully, "which I shall be paying back by the way," They smiled back as I noticed tears forming in Mum's eyes. "But whilst I was away, you could say I changed, or you could just say I grew the fuck up," My eyes went back to my parents again, "Sorry," I giggled, for swearing. "This time three months ago, I'd of happily drunk this glass, along with another 4 bottles. But that's the difference between me and you Lucy," I turned to look at her once more. "No, not the alcohol, **I've changed**. You, _friend_ are the same spiteful, selfish bitch you always were." Her eyes turned angry and her face blushed, realising I was making a fool out of her. "So I asked for this glass of wine," I held it up in front of me, "not to drink, oh no… I don't need this anymore. But to wipe that smug smirk off of your face," I chuckled as her face remained emotionless as I knew she wasn't sure what to say at all. Without a second thought I stood up and emptied the contents of my glass of **red** wine all over Lucy causing everyone to gasp around me, apart from Mum, Dad, Jack and Joey. I glanced at Joe for a second to see the smile he was hiding moments ago was evident now as Lucy sat dripping in red wine.

"Lauren, what the hell! You've ruined my dress!" she exclaimed, standing up as the liquid soaked into the fabric.

"You know I have that dress," I told her, my eyes locked with her own, "Stop trying to fit into the _Lauren shaped hole_, I left 3 months ago." I think now she was aware I was talking about Joey. "Because I'm back Luce, stronger than ever." She remained silent, her cheeks blushing once more. "Oh and the dress? Looks better on me anyway, even if I do say so myself," I smiled as I finished my performance, exhaling deeply as I realised what I'd actually done. "Now excuse me, a girl needs to pee,"

I took one last glance at Joey, winking at him, to see him smile back and shake his head as I made my way out the room. As I reached the hallway I leaned back against the wall, allowing the last few minutes catching up on me, listening to the conversation continuing in the front room.

"I think you should leave Lucy," I heard Dad tell her, hearing laughter behind his voice.

"Fine." She stated angrily. "Joey, come on." The chair scraped off of the floor as I heard her begin to move away from the table.

"No," Joey answered, matter-of-factly.

"What?" she replied, weaker.

"I'm not leaving Luce, you go," I heard Joey tell her, my eyes widening at his words. Maybe he wasn't as happy as **she** was making out?

"No…Jo," she began to argue.

"No, I'm staying with my family to welcome back my…cousin, I'll see you later, maybe" He told her, his voice faltering at the word cousin making me wince slightly. He was never just my cousin and he was quite aware of that. I heard Lucy's muffled response and the chair scrape across the floor once more signalling her departure so I hurried off into the kitchen.

"Hope you're happy," I heard her voice behind me.

"What?" I asked, genuinely wondering what she meant.

"I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work." She placed her hands on her hips. "Joey and me are happy, we don't need your interfering,"

"Luce I'm not trying to interfere, I'm **seriously** not bothered," I chuckled at her jealously, considering there was nothing to be jealous about. She huffed and turned around heading out of the house. She might not believe me, and okay maybe she could find a reason not too but I was telling the truth, I didn't want Joey back right now, yes I still loved him and part of me always will, but he was right all those months ago when he told me it was me I needed to take care of…and I still do.

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**Wonder what Lauren will do now? Can you guess? :D **


	9. 9 - Jealousy

**A/N: Hiyaaaa. **

**Back again, with one of my favourite chapters! **

**Enjoy:D**

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I made my way into the kitchen, wanting to keep away from the drama for a little while longer but also needing to calm down after Lucy working me up, as per usual. I opened the back door, leading to our miniature garden and crept around to our bench. I sighed deeply as I sat down and brushed my hands over my face, enjoying my own company for a while. I loved all of my family, but there was always some sort of commotion when we got together…usually from me. But whilst I was away I learnt that I needed to withdraw myself from any sort of that situation, to keep myself calm and just walk away. Jamie helped me a lot with that, teaching me to understand why I drank and which situations resulted in me drinking. I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and decided to text Jamie, knowing he would be proud of me for what I just did.

_Hey J – Day 1 and the drama returns… what did I tell you? Never a quiet day in the Branning household. I handled it, just like you told me, resulting in wine thrown at my bitch of a best friend. Proud? L xx_

I chuckled to myself as I pressed send and sat quietly allowing myself to think, peace and quiet being a blessing for once. When I was younger I used to love the busyness of our house, the coming and going and all of our visitors… it made life more interesting I guess. But maybe that is when it started going wrong? I'd enjoy too much drama, crave the attention from any passer-by and when it didn't go right, I'd result to drink. Now I'm sober and back to, _normal_, if you can call it that, I realise that a bit of peace and quiet can't go a miss. Joey gave me that, he was like my calm to the storm. I'd use him as my escape, knowing wherever he was he'd calm me down, just by being there. He made things safe and normal, reassurance was what he was. But as I got ill, something corrupted that, ruined the bond we'd created and pushed me towards the alcohol. Secrets and bloody lies. That was always my problem, I couldn't open up, not even to my Mum as a child. When Joey came along he filled that hole for a while, I felt easier opening up to him and it was almost becoming second nature, until _Kirsty_ came along and that **baby**, that turned out to be complete bullshit, but nevertheless, more secrets and bloody lies. Joey and I grew apart and a barrier formed, feeling like I couldn't tell him, I couldn't open up to him. The person I'd open up to had to be comforting, someone I trusted with my life, I could depend on and I **loved**, but by then, I didn't feel like Joey felt the same, so I lost him. Me and my insecurities.

My phone suddenly started to vibrate, signalling an incoming call, disturbing me from my train of thought. I looked down to see Jamie's name flashing on the screen.

**L: Hey Jamie, you okay?**

**J: Hey you, what the hell have you done? **I heard his muffled chuckles on the end of the line.

**L: Well let's just say she wound me up… they both did. **

**J: They… **I took a deep breath, knowing I'd have to tell him.

**L: Lucy and…Joey. He brought her with him, to this family meal thing, eh no big deal.**

**J: Lo, you don't have to pretend to me, I know it bothers you.**

**L: But it can't J, I won't let him hurt him anymore. **

**J: Please don't bottle everything up, not about him… it will break you Lo.**

I sighed on the phone, knowing Jamie was right.

**L: Honestly? I want to do this without him, prove I don't need him right now… he left me J, he made this choice. Okay I admit, it bothers me that he's with ****_her_****, but the fact he's here doesn't bother me. He's my cousin ain't he?**

**J: You know that's not all he is Lo…**

**L: For now. **

**J: Okay, so what happened?**

**L: She offered me a bottle of wine she'd brought with her.**

I heard Jamie's breathing falter on the other end, anticipating my response, but not saying a word.

**L: I didn't drink it J.**

**J: Knew you wouldn't.**

**L: I said yes to her offer, rolled off some kickass speech about how I needed to get better for myself and not Joey or any other arsehole, and threw the shit at her.**

**J: That's my girl. **I heard a genuine laugh from his end of the call.

I couldn't help but smile at his answer, knowing someone was proud of me really filled me with some kind of satisfaction.

**J: I'm proud of you Lo, honestly.**

**L: Thanks J. **I paused for a second, the call turning slightly awkward for some reason…** How're you? Anymore troubled teenagers descended on you? **

**J: A few, none as ****_dramatic_**_. _I couldn't help but chuckle at his response, feeling my cheeks heat up.

**L: Very funny, bet you're bored stiff then! **

**J: Actually, yeah… you were definitely my most erm, interesting patient. **

**L: Don't call me that, I sound mentally disturbed!**

**J: Sorry, erm, client? No, sounds worse… friend.**

**L: Okay, nice save J-boy. **I laughed as I used the nickname I'd created after we became closer whilst I lived at the clinic, taking the mick out of his younger desire to be a superhero.

**J: Meanie. Anyway, I better leave you hadn't I? Sure you've got something fun to be getting back too…**

**L: Yep, barrels of it my friend… sitting at a table surrounded by my over-dramatic family and my ex-boyfriend who also happens to be part of my dramatic family. Sorry I'm not jumping through hoops…**

**J: Woof…**

**L: Ha Ha! **

**J: Okay well, coffee next week yeah? I'll pick you up whenever, text me Lolly.**

**L: I sound like a 5 year old.**

**J: Shut up, go and play happy families like I taught you.**

**L: How unprofessional. **We really had become friends very quickly whilst I lived there, making our relationship extremely unprofessional.

**J: Lo, I was never that professional with you was I? **He was right.

**L: Guess not, anyway… **Oh how I wanted to change the conversation… it was becoming slightly awkward.

**J: Go and tell that bitch where to stick it Lo,**

**L: Sorted, she's already left mate. **

**J: Without Joey?**

**L: Mhm…**

**J: And his reason to stay?**

**L: Something about welcoming me home, I don't know.**

**J: He's still got it bad Lo. **Jamie's voice softened.

**L: You think?**

**J: Yep.**

**L: Well I don't need Joey. And I don't even want him at the moment. I'll text you tomorrow about coffee yeah?**

**J: Yeah, sure. And Lo?**

**L: Mmm?**

**J: Proud of you girl. **

**L: Thanks Jamie, see you soon yeah? Don't tell anyone, but I kind of miss you. **

**J: Miss you too. Bye Lo.**

I hung up and sighed, feeling so much better after hearing his comforting voice, reassuring me that I was doing okay. I leaned back on the wall and closed my eyes.

"Don't need me then?" His voice startled me, my eyes springing open to glance at him standing in front of me.

"How long have you been here?" I asked him, wondering what he'd heard.

"Long enough," his voice faltered slightly, signalling he'd heard quite a bit of mine and Jamie's conversation.

"Mmm," I responded, removing my eyes from him, unable to meet his gaze.

"So… Jamie?" he asked coyly, sitting down next to me, leaving a gap so as not to make me uncomfortable. But to be honest, a lot of things about this moment were uncomfortable.

"Not your concern Joe," I replied, sighing slightly as his question. Now was not the time to be getting jealous.

"I'm always concerned about you Lo," he whispered back, causing me to wince as he called me Lo.

"Don't call me that Joey," I told him, wanting to remain strong but knowing if he carried on he'd have me weak at the knees and possibly stuck in a conversation I didn't want to participate in.

"_Jamie_ did," he stated, causing my head to turn towards him.

"You heard him?" I asked, confused as to how he'd know.

"No, but your face told me different… lit up as he said it," he replied, playing with his hands telling me he was nervous. "Like it used to with me,"

"Oh," was all I could say back.

"Glad you're happy Lo-Lauren," He told me, reaching for my hand and squeezing it gently.

"It's not what you think," I sighed, pulling my hand away from him, bowing my head.

"It isn't?" his voice chirped up somewhat at my revelation.

"He's my doctor, slash councillor, slash rock…" I told him, feeling his posture drop as I referred to Jamie as my rock.

"Oh," it was his turn to become speechless.

"I'm glad you're happy though, just don't flaunt it in my face yeah?" I looked back up at him, my eyebrow raised. "Tonight was a dick move Joey,"

"I didn't know you were back, honestly Lauren… I'd never of brought her otherwise. Hell I probably wouldn't of come,"

"You wouldn't?" I asked him, slightly shocked… slightly hurt.

"I'd of wanted to, but probably not no," he replied, sincerity in his voice.

"Why?"

"Too scared I guess, more for your sake, I'm sure you wouldn't really want me there," he admitted, biting his lip.

"No, it's not that. I was terrified to be honest, I did everything I could to show you and everyone else, I was strong again and that I'd changed." I smiled to myself, still looking at the floor.

"You definitely showed Lucy," I could hear the faint chuckle behind his voice, giving him away.

"You know me," I mumbled back, trying not to show him how nervous he made me. But really, I knew there was no point in hiding it, he always knew how he made me feel.

"I do that," he chuckled back awkwardly. I remained quiet, not knowing how to reply to that one. He did know me, he knew me better than anyone else. After a few more minutes he broke the silence, "I missed you Lo," His words hit me somewhere in my chest, a pain through my heart. I moved my hand and placed it over my heart, hoping he wouldn't notice. "You okay?"

"Mhm," I replied, my eyes closed as I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. After a few more minutes silence I looked up at him, wanting to know what he was thinking.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"Just wondered if I could tell what you're thinking," I admitted, smiling slightly before turning away to face the floor again.

"You know, you could just ask me," I could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"Okay…" I chuckled nervously, turning back to face him, "What are you thinking?"

I noticed he took a deep breath and he moved his hands to rest on his knees, making his posture a little tenser. "Well, I'm thinking that it's a bit chilly out here, so you must be freezing," he nodded towards my sleeveless arms, making me a little self-conscious. "Also, how proud I am to see you back like this again, you don't understand how happy I am to see _my_ Lauren back to normal," I sighed at the word **my** not knowing how to respond. "And finally, how much I've missed you Lauren," I turned to look at him, wondering how he was going to play this, "These past 3 months were horrific without you, I was lost and I really missed you…"

For a moment I sat silent, not sure how to reply until a spark went off inside me.

"Don't you dare…" I began sighing deeply.

"What?" he asked, unsure as to what I meant.

"You left me Joe, not for the first time I might add." I started to get angrier, "You broke my heart again after may I remind you, believing _Lucy_ over your girlfriend? How could you do it to me? I **promised** you I wouldn't drink, and I didn't. Was that not enough? I've never let anyone in as much as I did to you, and you broke me Joey. Do you realise what that did? There is no way I'll ever let my guard down again, and certainly not to you," I chuckled slightly. "So don't come back all 'I missed you', no Joey…you were not allowed to miss me. I was the one sent away to the fucking mental institute; you **did not** miss me…clearly. Lucy Beale certainly kept you entertained."

He looked at me blankly, obviously not expecting my outburst, taken aback by my words.

"Lo…"

"No, forget it Joey. I'm not in the mood for talking anymore." I told him, staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him. After a few more minutes, him clearly not getting the 'leave me alone' hint, I stood up and made my way back into the kitchen. This was testing me, he really pushed me to wanting a drink, all the feelings and signs were back and I couldn't handle it.

But I could. 3 months ago, yeah maybe I'd of caved, but not now. I was so much stronger.

"You okay?" I heard him ask from behind me.

"No," I told him honestly.

"Lo…" I felt him get closer and him brush his hand up and down my arm, causing me to flinch at the sparks it created and close my eyes.

"Yes I do want a drink, if that is what you're wondering. Yes you have upset me. And yes I bloody missed you too." I turned around to face him, "But that changes nothing Joey. You still broke me and you weren't the one to fix me and I can't forgive you for that…not anytime soon anyway."

His face dropped as he knew I was talking about Jamie.

"He's my doctor Joe, it's his job," I rolled my eyes at him.

"Didn't sound like just a doctor…" he mumbled under his breath, me raising my eyebrow in response.

"Now is not the time to be getting jealous…" I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Sorry" he whispered back.

"If anything I should be the jealous one, bloody Lucy Beale…" I trailed off, not really checking what I was saying before it came out my mouth.

"Are you?"

"No," I lied, smiling slightly… possibly giving it away. "Not jealous, annoyed,"

"Same thing," he argued.

"I'm annoyed that it's Lucy, if it was anyone else…" I sighed, knowing I'd have to admit it, "yes I'd be jealous."

"Knew it," he chuckled at me, giving me that smile only I got to see.

"That your aim was it? Make me jealous?" I raised my eyebrow.

"You know I didn't know you were here…" he mumbled back. I nodded at him, making the room silent again, "And Lo?"

"Mmm?"

"This Lucy thing…it's not-" he began.

"I know Joe," I replied, already anticipating what he was going to say.

"This is messed up yeah?" he asked, chuckling awkwardly.

"Yeah.." I replied, laughing myself. "They'll be wondering where we are you know," He nodded and I smiled at him turning to walk back into the living room. Just as I was about to leave I felt his hand hold onto my wrist, pulling me back. Before I knew it he'd pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me protectively. Without thinking I wrapped my own around his waist, snuggling my head into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head and sigh, almost as if he had only just relaxed for the first time since I'd left.

"So glad you're safe Lauren," I heard him whisper faintly.

"Me too Joe," I replied, closing my eyes as he held onto me for dear life.

Neither of us were sure where this was going, or what it meant. But I knew one thing, right then, it was the safest I'd felt in months and months.

* * *

**Thought i'd end it on a fluffy note ;-)**

**Hope you enjoyed! I love Joey's jealous side, naughty Lauren, ;) **

**What would you guys like to see? ;)**

**R&R xxxx**


	10. Coffee?

**Hiya! It's been a while i know, lost inspiration! **

**I'll try and write some more in the upcoming weeks, get this story finished cause i hate leaving them half done!**

* * *

A couple of days past and everything seemed to slot back to 'normal'. It was all sort of surreal as Mum and Dad seemed to be getting on better than I'd seen them in months, Abi was a lot happier after Jay had returned from working away with Phil and I'd actually accustomed properly to being back in Walford. Today I was meeting Jamie in town for some coffee, something I was actually looking forward too.

I hadn't seen Joey much since the dinner, I heard he was actually living with Lucy…on and off, and that things were just 'casual' between them. However I doubted that is what she'd like to believe. I was currently sat in the gardens, staring at a blank piece of paper trying my best to start drawing again. Whilst I was away I spent a lot of time just scribbling down anything that popped to mind, something to distract me from the need to drink, but since I'd been back I was stumped for ideas. I'd spoken to my old college and organised a meeting with them next week to discuss what I wanted to do, they were pretty understanding.

"Lauren!" I heard Whitney's voice shout me from across the garden, looking up I smiled and waved as she walked towards me. "I need your help,"

"Go on…" I asked, putting my pencil down.

"Would you be able to watch Tiff for me this afternoon? Mum's at the stall, Carol's at the café and I'm meant to be meeting a vicar about the wedding with Ty," She explained, sitting down next to me.

"I would…but I can't, I'm sorry," I admitted, feeling slightly bad. "I mean I could cancel if you…."

"No, don't be silly, she'll have to stay with her Mum on the stall," Whit smiled, "Where are you off too then?"

"I'm, erm, meeting Jamie for a coffee," I told her, smiling and doing my best not to blush, it wasn't like that.

"Jamie?" She raised her eyebrow, "Is this a date-type-coffee?" She winked at me chuckling.

"No, he was erm, my doctor at the clinic," I explained.

"You sure that's all it is? You don't normally stay in touch with your doctors Lauren, let alone have coffee with them," she nudged my arm suggestively.

"Whitttt…" I groaned at her but couldn't help myself from laughing slightly, "It's just coffee,"

"Fine, let me know how it goes yeah? I better go and find Bi, tell her she's been lumbered with Tiff because our Lauren here is going on a hot date," She winked at me again as she stood up to leave, "See you Lolly, love ya"

"Bye Whit," I laughed as she made her way towards the market.

…

An hour or so later I returned home after managing to get down the flower in the garden, before remembering it was the one we tied Joey too all those months ago. The thought made me smile, but shudder at the same time, it was ridiculous how much things had changed since then…with me anyway. I checked my phone for the time and noticed I had a text message.

_Hey Lo, looking forward to later… do you want me to pick you up? J x_

I smiled automatically, as I was honestly looking forward to seeing him again. I typed out a reply:

_Hey J, would you mind? The tube scares me… ;) x_

I chuckled at my response and headed upstairs to go for a shower, realising I hadn't got a lot of time.

20 minutes later I returned to my bedroom and plonked myself down on my bed, staring blankly at my wardrobe not having the faintest idea what to wear. I sighed and ran my fingers through my wet hair, noticing my phone was flashing.

_Course I don't stupid, and don't lie to me Branning, you lazy shit ;) See you at 4 - J x_

I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself, knowing he'd caught me out. Shit. It was half 3 already? I threw my towel off and placed my dressing gown on and began trying to tame my lions' mane of hair. I then applied little makeup, and retreated back to my wardrobe, aware that it was almost 4 and Jamie would be here any minute. I sighed as I began to panic, not having a clue what I was going to wear so I grabbed my phone, dialling his number.

**L: J, you here yet?**

**J: No, almost… why, can't wait to see me? **I could hear his smirk…

**L: Very funny, I'm not ready… so fancy meeting me in the café across the square? I'm sorry!**

**J: Yeah fine, doesn't surprise me actually. You women… See you in a bit Lolly.**

**L: Bye Jay.**

I relaxed slightly, after buying myself a little more time, now I could really get ready.

Joey's POV

"Hey, Luce can I have a coffee please?" I asked as I walked into the café, just finishing work after being given the evening off. I glanced around the room, not recognising anyone; I sat at the end of the till. A few minutes later she placed the coffee in front of me, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. I knew now I was not remotely interested in Lucy, it was so much clearer now Lauren had returned, I didn't want anyone unless it was her and I'd blown that one countless times.

"Hi, erm, 2 coffees please," I heard an unfamiliar voice ask over the counter, glancing around the room, probably looking for chairs. I'd never seen him before, which was strange for round here, everyone knew everyone. He glanced towards me and smiled slightly before turning with his coffees and sitting in the corner.

"Luce, who's that?" I called across the counter, turning to nod towards him telling her who I was talking about. Before she could answer, or maybe she did answer but I switched off the moment Lauren walked in. She glanced at me slightly, followed by a small smile and hurried past.

Lauren's POV

"Jay!" I squealed excitedly as I noticed him sat in the corner with two drinks. The comforting sight of him helped a great deal when I noticed Joey propped up against the counter as I entered.

"Hey you," he replied, standing up to accept my hug and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the floor slightly.

"Put me down you fool," I giggled as we pulled away and landed on the floor. "So happy to see you, you have no idea,"

"You too kid," he winked at me, before we both sat back in our seats. I could feel a pair of eyes on me from behind and no doubt they would be Joey's.

"You're never gonna' let this go are you?!" I laughed shaking my head, choosing to ignore Joey.

"Never little'un" he winked again as I slapped his arm across the table, causing us both to laugh more. Jamie was 5 years older than me, meaning he was 24 and once we'd developed this friendship he'd never stopped teasing me. A comfortable silence fell over the two of us as we relaxed in one another's company. "So Lo…"

"Mmm?" I responded, sipping my coffee.

"That wouldn't be Joey would it?" He raised his eyebrow at me and nodded towards the counter. I rolled my eyes finding it annoying that he was able to guess because Joey was making himself rather obvious.

"How did you ever guess?" I replied sarcastically, refusing to turn round and check.

"Maybe the devilish stare he's been giving me the past few minutes," he chuckled a little. "You still not on good terms?"

"No, we are, kind of," I mumbled shaking my head and sipping my coffee. "Jay can we not talk about him,"

"Course, sorry babe," he smiled as he finished his coffee. "Right come on, got a fun day ahead for you,"

"What? I thought we were just having a coffee and a catch up," I asked him, raising my eyebrow in confusion.

"Well I'm not as boring as you," he joked, standing up and putting his coat on, "Come on Branning, drink up,"

"Alright, calm down. God you men are so pushy," I winked at him as we began to leave, not going unnoticed by Joey. I caught his eye as we got to the door making me nervous.

"Lo?" I heard Jamie say from the door.

"Be out in a sec," I called after him, smiling as he walked off. I turned to look at Joey, his eyes still firmly on me. "You going to sit staring at me all day?"

"Erm, sorry," he mumbled, turning his head. I chuckled slightly knowing I'd got to him. "I don't like him calling you that,"

"What?" I questioned him, my eyebrow raising.

"Lo" he replied quietly, that word giving me goose-bumps. How could one word from him make me melt, fall at his feet like I always did.

"Joe, what's the problem?" I asked, trying to keep my guard up, I couldn't go weak in front of him anymore.

"That's Jamie then?" he asked nodding towards the exit, completely ignoring my last question.

"And what if it is? Joe you can't monitor everything I do. I'm not yours to check up on, I'm not yours to worry about, Joey I'm not yours anymore." I sighed deeply, smiling slightly trying to ease what I'd just said as he seemed to wince at my final words. He looked up and me and nodded, smiling back gently, the sides pinched indicating it was forced. "I better go,"

"You'll always be mine," he mumbled to himself as I turned to leave, causing me to pause and look back at him, his eyes glued to me. I wasn't sure I was meant to of heard his last comment, but now that I did there was no ignoring it. "Sorry,"

I sighed deeply again, "Cya Joe,"

As I left, the cold air hit me bringing me back to reality. Every moment with Joey left me confused recently but I wasn't about to let myself be drawn straight back in. I was stronger now.

"You okay?" I heard Jamie's voice next to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine Jay," I smiled, hooking my arm into his. "Where we going then?"

* * *

**Well, reviews please? Ideas will be appreciated as well ! **

**I have some ideas, but definitely open to suggestions ;) **


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